Thursday, December 15, 2005

What's Love Got to Do With It?


Somebody please help me out here. When in a relationship, Love is a primary binding factor - but is anything else really needed besides Love? What about trust? What IS trust? I don't think it's so much a factor of whether or not a person can trust me but if they trust themselves. According to the Bible, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." This meaning that we are only as we see ourselves. If we are not trustworthy, we tend to not trust in others. Trust is an unspoken bond. You make it when you accept responsibility for another's emotions and they entrust with you with securing their heart. What we do with that trust dictates the degree of commitment we make to a person.

So, Love = Trust + Commitment? Is that the correct equation or should it be more like; Love = Trust + Faith? Where do things like financial responsibility, quality time, and good common sense fall into the mix? Is it possible to Love logically or is this a game for the Emotions only? Wouldn't a logically thinking man find a more practical way to handle the problems of Love? I mean, he’d probably factor in the other things that emotions leave out thus creating and environment where Peace of Mind can foster Confidence which could be translated as Trust: Trust being equivalent to Security. Security promotes Respect which is reciprocated by “Love”.

I’m just a man of logic… Fortunately for me, I also incorporate emotions. I find it utterly unwise to undertake an endeavor like Love without at least attempting to factor in the unexpected. In today’s modern-age, it has become a requirement to establish where people are starting from in order to map out a course of success in a relationship. Baggage is allowed on this ride (max of 2 please), as long as you keep them stored in the baggage car along with everyone else’s and avoid riffling through other people’s baggage stored there. However clearly label your baggage so as to not accidentally take someone else’s at your final destination.

So, is the most successful relationship built on the old principle of Love alone or on a new paradigm?

WhaTs LoVe Got To Do WiTh It?

Who gives to this feeling, who needs to the find its meaning
When time is too much to give, when short is life to live
Where truth turns to lies, where the weary spirit cries
Why wasn't it given back, why is there so much lack
How hard it is to see, how easy it is to simply be
In Love..... So
Whats Love Got To Do with It

- Anonymous ;-)

6 comments:

todayiamabird said...

what about unselfish love? what if you took faith and trust out of your equation and just put unselfishness in there.
i think anyone can love, i think loving is really rather easy, but i think it's when you love unselfishly (and perhpas just as importantly, when you are unselfishly loved in return) that you are guaranteed a real love that will last.

Shakespeare Noir said...

Hmmm.... Unselfish love. I believe that Love by its own nature is selfish. We tend to do things to preserve and protect Love. To keep it from harm - to keep it clean and untarnished - to stash it away so others can't take it away. We guard it and nurture it and such.

As for the removal of Trust and Faith? I don't necessarily find a problem with that but I do have a problem reconciling the possibility of a self-less love reciprocated from another. Again, I believe that at the core of all human Love-relationships is a basic need for self-preservation. Until a person feels "safe" with another they can not offer a selflessness that will be of any consequence. Wouldn't you agree?

It is true that anyone can love but not everyone knows HOW to love. It takes a great deal of self-sacrifice in order for a person to commit whole-heartily to another person. Some people have not the patience to love. Love according to the Word (see. I Corinthians 13) love requires and demands much. However, I do agree that a true and lasting love should also include unselfishness.

africanqueen said...

It is very true anyone can love but know how to love is the thing. I would like to add. Can a person truly love someone unconditionally. I would put that in the same category as loving someone unselfishly.

Anonymous said...

These days, it seems the word Love is thrown around like a frisbee; and we have even taught dogs to catch frisbees. And what about this term "love at first sight". I find that to be highly unlikely for this simple reason: if this is the first time I've seen you, I don't know you. If I don't know you, how can I say I trust you. And if I don't trust you, it's impossible to love you.

Your equation Love=Trust+Faith is right on the mark. Love cannot exsist without them..I Corinthians 13:7 "...love always trusts, always hopes..." When you love someone, you are trusting them with the most delicate part of your being, and hope (have faith) that they will care for it properly.

Love is also self-less...loving another more than self..I Corinthians 13:5 "...love is not self-seeking..." God so LOVED they world that He gave is ONLY Son. How many of us are willing to give our ONLY anything? Example..giving up your last piece of chewing gum! But seriously, loving is taking SELF out of the equation.

Shakespeare Noir said...

I like what Anonymous has to say on the matter. See, what happened here is that the Word was referenced and properly applied to the statement, but let me apply a different interpretation. The Bible speaks on love and says that "Love" trusts and hopes. It says that God loved this world enough to come here in the flesh to die for our sins... as the only begotten son of the Living God Almighty Himself - Jesus. Doesn't that portray a self-less and selfish Love too? Selfless in that He sacrificed Himself for us but selfish in that He also did it to preserve from death and redeem to eternal life those that He loved. This is what true UNCONDITIONAL Love is about, however, I seriously doubt that anyone living today can attain a Love to that degree. Yes, we can be very unselfish in how we choose to display our love for another. We have the example of Jesus to follow yet we still desire to have OUR will be done and to protect ourselves from harm.

My pastor used to say before preaching on Sundays, "When I bring myself to the Lord I take SELF out. So that He may use me in such ways as He sees fit". Now apply that simple statement to how most of us love today. Replace "the Lord" with whoever your love interest is and then say that again. No wait a minute – you might say. Are you telling me to let my love interest “USE” me as he/she wants? That hardly seems right… but “use” actually probably only meant to avail oneself to… NOT to seek or achieve an end by using to one's advantage. Our own selfishness causes us to choose the latter definition over the former one. The scripture is supposed to represent the way we all should approach our loving relationship with the Lord. We can apply that to how we choose to love one another but how many of us can actually say that we do? If not for Him, why then should we for anyone else? Is there anyone else more worthy than the Lord? I think not...

The responsibility for our well-being in a love relationship would fall squarely on the shoulders of the one we love. Are we not responsible for also insuring our own emotional state of being? So, again the question arises - how are we supposed to Love? Are we to be selflessly open to hurt or selfishly protective? Now comes the question of defining the thin line between Love and Infatuation… infatuation requires no faith, trust, or loyalty – only emotion. Love is defined as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness while infatuation is defined as a foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction. How many of us would look back on times that we have been “in Love” and now choose to call it infatuation?

Anonymous said...

hi .. i am happy to read ur poem bout love... and i still dont know wat to say becoz u sed it all...

wat u fil s based on u..and i think by time u can still aswer ur question..just enjoy it..later u will realize its all part of a process to love...

have fun..